Things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.
—from A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
So I’m gonna admit right now that I picked up A Little Life mostly because people kept talking about how sad it was. It was kind of like a jalapeño pepper eating contest to me. I wanted to see if it was really as sad as people said it was and if I could take it. I know. It was a bit of a strange impulse. Maybe I thought it would make me a stronger person.
Short story: yep, it’s a pretty sad book. The saddest book I’ve ever read? Maybe, maybe not, but it’s pretty high up there. I think what really brings it up to the top of that list is the level of hopelessness that just sort of hangs over the whole thing and over the main character Jude.
Jude is a messed up person. Pitted against other troubled protagonists of literary fiction he would win prizes for Worst Childhood, Worst PTSD, and Worst Self-Esteem with absolutely zero question. So where’s the story? Well, Yanagihara is really skilled at creating the world of Jude’s friends around him. She develops out his best friends Willem, JB, and Malcom, as well as several other characters who basically spend their lives trying to save Jude from the ghosts of his horrific past.
One of the reasons that this book spoke to me despite being incredibly heavy was that I do know Jude. It’s real that some people have turned inward on themselves with such violent self-hatred and a fear of being close to others that simply getting through a day is near-impossible at times. Having an author really illustrate this character in such a relentless way I think actually helped me better understand the people in my life who struggle with similar demons, even if those demons come from different places.
I don’t want to say too much more, because a lot of this book is about how much information Yanagihara lets you have access to and when. You don’t get to learn about Jude’s past until she says you can, and even then you only get parts of the story until nearly the end of the book. But I will say that I appreciated the fullness of this book, that it truly tried to capture a life in all of its torturous complexities, pains, and simple joys.
I’m very curious to read her other novel, The People in the Trees, which I’ve heard is actually pretty different from A Little Life, but I’ll definitely need to take a long breather first.