A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

A Little Life

So I’m gonna admit right now that I picked up A Little Life mostly because people kept talking about how sad it was. It was kind of like a jalapeño pepper eating contest to me. I wanted to see if it was really as sad as people said it was and if I could take it. I know. It was a bit of a strange impulse. Maybe I thought it would make me a stronger person.

Short story: yep, it’s a pretty sad book. The saddest book I’ve ever read? Maybe, maybe not, but it’s pretty high up there. I think what really brings it up to the top of that list is the level of hopelessness that just sort of hangs over the whole thing and over the main character Jude.

Jude is a messed up person. Pitted against other troubled protagonists of literary fiction he would win prizes for Worst Childhood, Worst PTSD, and Worst Self-Esteem with absolutely zero question. So where’s the story? Well, Yanagihara is really skilled at creating the world of Jude’s friends around him. She develops out his best friends Willem, JB, and Malcom, as well as several other characters who basically spend their lives trying to save Jude from the ghosts of his horrific past.

One of the reasons that this book spoke to me despite being incredibly heavy was that I do know Jude. It’s real that some people have turned inward on themselves with such violent self-hatred and a fear of being close to others that simply getting through a day is near-impossible at times. Having an author really illustrate this character in such a relentless way I think actually helped me better understand the people in my life who struggle with similar demons, even if those demons come from different places.

I don’t want to say too much more, because a lot of this book is about how much information Yanagihara lets you have access to and when. You don’t get to learn about Jude’s past until she says you can, and even then you only get parts of the story until nearly the end of the book. But I will say that I appreciated the fullness of this book, that it truly tried to capture a life in all of its torturous complexities, pains, and simple joys.

I’m very curious to read her other novel, The People in the Trees, which I’ve heard is actually pretty different from A Little Life, but I’ll definitely need to take a long breather first.

4Stars24/5 stars

See a full list of my book reviews here and my book review policy here.

October Roundup: Podcasts, Community, and Habit-building


I’ve loved BookRiot for long time, but this month I finally got around to listening to exploring not just their website but their world of podcasts. It really is a world, because they have five and counting as far as I can see. Having just finished reading Everything I Never Told You, I was really excited to check out the interview with her on their Reading Lives podcast. BookRiot’s original podcast is another great show with general news from the world of books and publishing.

Another bookish highlight of this month was getting to participate in Aarti’s #Diversiverse book challenge, where bloggers posted reviews of books by authors of color. I’m still looking forward to browsing through the full list of books that got reviewed and picking out new things for my to-read list. In between these heavy reads I picked up Hyperbole and a Half, a hilarious comic about life that I’ve had on my bookshelf for a while.

In other news, this has been a month of reflection for me on the importance of WOC (women of color) spaces. I started off this year knowing that I wanted to cultivate those spaces in my life and so far I have, with a WOC book club, a writing circle, and a social group. The ripple effects of having these communities in my life isn’t something I can readily explain, but I can say that I’m having a sense of pieces clicking and fitting together in a way that hasn’t happened for me in a few years. It’s like a lattice network going up, and I’m so thankful to be feeling it this month.

Being in a space of building community, getting ready to travel, and in general laying down some new routines and habits in my life, I was super interested when someone in my writing group recommended that I check out Habitica, a computer and mobile tool to help you get done what you want to get done.

Habitica Avatar
Isn’t my avatar cute?

What Habitica does is basically turn your life into a role-playing game. You have an avatar that you get to customize and various types of to-do lists and habits that give you virtual money and accessories when you check off a task. The beauty is that you also lose health points for not completing the tasks you set out to do, or  for indulging in the negative habits you’re trying to get away from. You can use your money to buy equipment and pets for your character, and the game also has a social element of being able to take on challenges in conjunction with other players or join groups.

I was someone who already loved the satisfaction of checking an item off a to-do list, so Habitica has been super useful for me in solidifying my gym-going, my creative writing hour each day, and my getting down to work time. People seem to use Habitica for everything from school and work to creative projects and quitting smoking. We’ll see how it continues to work for me moving forward!

P.S. Adele’s back! Who isn’t excited about that?

The Turner House by Angela Flournoy

Cha-Cha should have stopped running. Better to walk as if he’d been walking all along, then make a slow circle back to his truck. But he couldn’t stop himself. He wasn’t skilled at acting natural.
The Turner House by Angela Flournoy

The Turner House

I have a tentative but pure memory of my great-grandfather’s house in the Haight neighborhood of San Francisco, which I visited a some point in my late childhood. I remember the steep set of steps leading up to the front door and the way that the rooms stretched out as wood-floored caverns to the back of the house. I remember several different colors, some blues and greens in particular. I have vague memories of my great-grandfather himself — his deep, patient face, covered in grooves and wrinkles. I can still sense the pride and astonishment I felt at how long he lived, over 100 years.

The house itself got sold away after my great-grandfather’s passing, but his many children and their children (and their children) are a living legacy of this man, formerly a farmer, who migrated from Texas during the great migration and made his new home in Northern California. I think being the product of this history is part of the reason why I’ve always been so fascinated by cities, race, and who owns different spaces and neighborhoods.

Because of my interests, The Turner House was such a treat, but lots of other people would love this book too. Flournoy’s story revolves around a house, as the title suggests — the family home of the Turner clan. The family’s matriarch Viola is getting older and closer to passing away, while her children try to figure out what to do with the property. Some of the children are happier than others, but they all have unique ties to the house and to each other, which Flournoy teases apart skillfully.

The eldest of all the children, Cha-Cha, feels the heaviness of his burden to guide and support the others. He feels haunted by a haint, or ghost, and undertakes a path of internal discovery and an uncovering of family history as a result.

The setting of modern-day Detroit was beautifully constructed, building a very rich sense of home alongside the equally true realities of poverty, white flight, and decay. Flournoy shows us the broken down home foundations and the persistent crime, but also that old neighbor who still lives next door and the familiarity with the streets of one’s youth.

I love that this breakout book was Flournoy’s first, since I think that can only mean positive energy for her next works as she develops and gets more established. I’m also really inspired for stories that I’m working on which also have to do with place, race, and belonging. I’ll happily take suggestions for other books in a similar vein.

4Stars24 out of 5 stars

This review is for BookLust’s “A More Diverse Universe” reading challenge, encouraging readers to review books by and/or about people of color.

A More Diverse Universe 2015

See a full list of my book reviews here and my book review policy here.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

You could stop taking their phone calls, tear up their letters, pretend they’d never existed. Start over as a new person with a new life. Just a problem of geography, he thought, with the confidence of someone who had never yet tried to free himself of family.
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Everything I Never Told You

Somehow I end up reading a lot of family dramas. I think most writers have a lot to say about family, and for writers of color maybe even more so, since there is so much to say about trying to negotiate your own self-development, fit into a world that doesn’t always look like you, and hold onto the things that really matter to you at the same time.

So even though I’d heard a lot of great things about Ng’s book, I was expecting it to read as a collection of experiences that I’d seen in other books. But what I actually found was something really fresh and raw.

Everything I Never Told You centers on a mixed Chinese American/white family living in a small, mostly-white suburb in Ohio. From the first page you find out that the middle daughter, Lydia, is unexpectedly dead, and the rest of the book unravels from that fact to explore exactly what happened and why.

What I loved most about this book was how well Ng was able to dive into the subtleties of the emotions that run through families under the surface. The entire story is an uncovering of sorts, first about who the parents are and the baggage that they each bring to raising their kids, and then to slowly develop an intricate picture of who the three children are. Each kid is uniquely different, with both strong and weak characteristics, even though they’ve grown up in the same family.

The uncovering feels familiar because it’s the process that we all do over time to dissect our own family histories, emotions, connections, and wounds. We all travel that journey somehow, even if we don’t spend a lot of time consciously ruminating on it.

Ng’s book is definitely a heart-heavy one, but I couldn’t put it down, and I’m so incredibly glad that I read it. It gives you a lot of food for thought not just about your own life and how you interact with family, but also how you approach your life in general, what you believe is possible, and whether you feel fulfilled or trapped. I’m so excited to see what she comes out with next.

5Stars25 out of 5 stars

This review is for BookLust’s “A More Diverse Universe” reading challenge, encouraging readers to review books by and/or about people of color.

A More Diverse Universe 2015

See a full list of my book reviews here and my book review policy here.

September Roundup: Writer Mode and Local Economies


I love the feeling of fall in the air. Despite the late heat waves here in the Bay Area, I can tell from the orange-brown of the leaves and the new briskness of the air that fall is here, and it’s been inspiring a lot of creative thoughts. I recently joined a writer’s group, which has me easing back into working on the bits and pieces of a novel I have in the workings. Morning time in particular is turning into an especially productive head space for me.

I’ve been watching Gabriela Pereira from DIY MFA on that newfangled app Periscope. This past week she posted one video a day talking about blogging tips for writers. I found it super helpful, and I enjoy a lot of the content on her site and podcast in general.

I also recently picked up Still Writing by Dani Shapiro, which is part memoir and part writing/life advice. Shapiro writes in lovely short passages that contain a lot of little gems like this:

Let go of every should or shouldn’t running through your mind when you start. Be willing to stand at the base of a new mountain, and with humility and grace, bow to it. Allow yourself to understand that it’s bigger than you, or anything you can possibly imagine. You’re not sure of the path. You’re not even sure where the next step will take you. When you begin, whisper to yourself: I don’t know.

On a different note, I’m little thrown right now with the news that Uber is coming into downtown Oakland with two or three thousand employees. Like many cities, Oakland is struggling so much right now with high rents and housing unaffordability on the rise and I’m wondering how a new influx of wealth is going to change the city. I worry about what the move will mean for the cityscape and its race/class politics, and I’m afraid of what it means for the economy that these companies relying on “independent contractors” (rather than decently compensated employees) are proliferating and growing so rapidly.

Lastly, I’ve been thinking a lot recently about sustainable travel. I have a big exciting trip to Asia coming up, but I want to make sure that when I get there I’m respectful of local cultures, customs, environments, and economies as much as possible. I still have a lot to figure out as to what that will mean on the ground, but I want to be thinking about sustainability when choosing where to stay, what to purchase, and how to act while I’m there. I’ll be looking for plenty of advice in the coming months from friends and other folks who have made similar trips!